Cross-posted from my blog on ashishinbschool
I write this on my laptop sitting here at Union Station, Chicago, on my way to Ann Arbor from my hometown of Bloomington, IL. I had a long layover, so I decided to stop by the food court. I get stopped by this (presumably) homeless lady, and she asks me for money for food. Mom had packed some stuff for me, so I said, here’s some food you can have. Turns out she doesn’t have any teeth, and would settle for a coke. Now this is not an uncommon situation in India, and usually I tend to just ignore it and move on. I think the Indicorps training kicked in at this point. I bought two cokes, and sat down with her. The conversation was, well, VERY interesting. She really had a lot to say. I think the lady was suffering from some dementia too, and I just didn’t what to say about most things (How do you react to a lady wearing foil under her hat so that the ‘people who can change shapes’ don’t read her thoughts?) I just listened to her politely, and when I finished my drink, I wished her good luck with her crocheting (the needlework stuff) and walked away.
Something about this experience shook me. In some sense, my experience in India was a lot about in-your-face reality. I could have chosen to like it or hate it, but as a ‘social worker’, I could not have ignored it. In America (or actually just as easily in India), you can choose to block it out, ignore it, act like it’s not there. It reminds me of a line from the movie Crash, which talked about how we’re so separated from each other within all this glass and steel. Student life has really been like a bubble. Ann Arbor has a lot of issues to work with: but it’s so much more comfortable in your room.
It’s been a whole week since I promised to write, and I clearly haven’t even written an iota. I can’t complain though: I’ve had an ultimately relaxing (read: lazy) break. Some TV, answer a few e-mails, run some errands. Nothing to really push the limits anyhow.
And that in itself summarizes nicely my modus operandi for the last three months. Do a little work (enough to get by), watch TV (I call it catching up on lost time), answer a few e-mails, talk a lot every now and then. If the US army helps you be all that you can be, I’m definitely operating at no more than 30% of what I can be. This is not the Ashish of the last two years. I owe it to myself (and so many more), to be much more than that. B-School can’t just be another two years to get a degree – there is much more I can do in this world.
In the spirit of true self-reflection, I have to talk about what I’m going to do about it. B-school does provide rigorous academics, and it does nourish my intellectual curiosity (to what extent is purely my choice). But that still doesn’t take much time, and I still operate in a very me-centric world. My biggest decision of the day really is to figure out what I’m going to have for dinner. I think I’m walk upto the Chinmayanand Mission in Ann Arbor, where Shardaji is the Acharya, and start giving time there. I was really impressed by her BalVihar and her philosophy on working with kids and helping them connect to their Indian/Hindu roots. I think it’ll be really good for the soul to work with kids again: remind me that most of the joys of life are really really simple.
Plus, I think for overall health I am going to start running again – but to a particular goal. I am going to run a marathon next summer (let’s call it May 2009). I think the running is also going to provide me much needed daily discipline.
It all sounds very nice: on the eve of this next quarter to begin, here’s my plan to engage my body, mind and soul. Stay tuned for weekly progress.
RSS Feed (xml)
